A Quick Mini-Post

A friend just asked me for my lasagna recipe. I make a pretty dope lasagna. I don't have a recipe, though, I mostly cook off the top of my head, and so I emailed her a stream of consciousness recipe. I'm mostly putting it here so I don't send it off into the ether and lose it forever. not that I really need it. But, you know, maybe someone will benefit someday.



Lasagna. Big noodles, you boil them. You put down a layer of noodles,
and then a layer of ricotta cheese (or cottage, since LA has no
ricotta, or you could make some kind of tofu-y vegan crap). Sauce on
top of that, some kind of red sauce, buy it or make it, and then
vegetables. I don't like carrots in lasagna. Spinach is great. Boil it
for a second first. Just a second, though. Or use frozen, and thaw it
first. Broccoli is great. Olives, if you're into that. Leafy things do
well, and things that can be cut big and thin. Oh, and onions. I
usually put a ton of garlic in my sauce, also. I love it. You could
put a leek in the veggie stage, too, if you want to blow up the
alliums. Trifecta, right? After vegetables comes a pile of cheese.
Mozzarella. A ton. You can mix in something sharper, too, if you want,
but the mozzarella's pretty crucial. Look for veg rennet, or don't, if
you don't care. Then repeat, starting again with noodles. I like to do
at least three iterations, but also I stack thick, so I generally end
up with a wicked tall lasagna. Most people go for shorter and wider,
with thinner (or more "reasonable") layers. Make sure you end with
pasta on top, and then cheese. That means my last three layers are
cheese, pasta, cheese, but you can skip the first of those cheeses if
you choose. I'm not a healthy cook. I'm a comfort food cook. Oh, also,
it's nice to make your own noodles, if you have an extra twenty
minutes. Lasagna noodles are the easiest to make, because they're all
big and lumpy anyway. You just need some flour and an egg and a little
bit of water and salt. You can pretty much guess how to get from here
to there. I'd use white whole-wheat flour, but I use that for
everything. Once you've conglomerated, you bake. Your guess is as good
as mine, here. Maybe 350? Check it at forty-five, and then every seven
or eight minutes after that.

BB+B - "Jim: Foreign Correspondant" Edition

Hi. I'm in Los Angeles right now, which means no home cooked goodness with the boys. It means that mostly I get by eating microwaved taquitos from Trader Joe's.


my delicious dinner


However, tooling around on the internet, I found this, and was intrigued. She lays out a simple two-ingredient cake. I know, generally I'm dead-set against boxed mixes, but right now I don't have money to make food, so a baked good on the cheap cheap is better than none at all. It hurt me a little to do it, believe me. However, the woman who wrote that post lives in a world where Martinelli's Gold Medal 100% Pure Cider isn't an unachievable luxury. Not to even mention a stand mixer. I fantasize about stand mixers in the way men are supposed to fantasize about threesomes with hot blonde twins. So I decided to take this sucker one step further and make a two dollar cake.


cheapo pumpkin and nameless cake mix


I ran on down to my local 99Cents Only Store and grabbed the least gross looking can of pumpkin and a box of seemingly unbranded spice cake mix ("Country Value" indeed). The directions are simple, plop and mix.


pumpkin plop


I separated my cake out into two pans (everything here in LA is Corning) in the name of being classy. You can do that how you like. I threw them into a 350 degree oven for around twenty-three minutes.


separated into pans


I didn't have a toothpick to check for doneness with, so I used a chopstick. Such is the life of those who care not about appearances. I took the cakes right out of the oven and stacked them onto a much nicer plate than my cake deserved, neglected to frost or ice or glaze in any way, cut out a slice and ate it.


i eat cake (whenever possible)


On an aside, that's my favorite fork in LA, right there, which, if you know me at all, is weird. I'm normally a pretty die hard three-tine man, but that guy right there just has such a beautiful heft to it.

The cake is pretty solid. Great for two dollars. There's lots of room for improvement, though. Ken (my roommate here) was eating it with butter on it and suggested putting a can of corn and some cayenne pepper in it.


So here, after a brief moment of thought (that's a lie, I'm totally making this up as I type it) is a totally untested recipe based on the fact that pumpkin is the new banana and still one of my favorite things in the world:


Jim's As-Yet Untried Ultimate Thanksgiving-Style Pumpkin Dinner Muffins (YES!)
(also, if you do this, you should tweak it)
(also also, this is vegan)

You will need:
one can of pumpkin
2 1/2 cups of white(ish) flour
1/2 cup of cornmeal
maybe a palmful of arrowroot or cornstarch or something
one stick of margarine (or whatever you prefer)
one and a half tablespoons of baking soda (I use Rumsford because there's no Aluminum in it)
1 tablespoon of vanilla (good stuff)
1/2 cup maple syrup
also 1/4 to 1/2 cup of dark brown sugar (if not, serve with honey, which might actually be the better option)
1/2 cup of corn kernels if you want (I don't usually dig on that)
1 or 2 chopped up jalapenos (only if there're corn kernels, I think)
sure, some cayenne
maybe 1/2 a teaspoon each of nutmeg, clove, and allspice
1 teaspoon of cinnamon

That seems good, right? Mix that stuff the way you know it wants to be mixed: the dries, add butter, mix in the wets, mess it all up with a fork. Then I'd put it into some buttered (or paper cupped) muffin tins, but I'd keep it pretty low. You don't want big old muffin sized dinner rolls. You want little graceful delicious pumpkin doobers. Bake them at 350, check at like fifteen, and then every few after that.

Probably all of you with stocked kitchens should get on that and tell me how it goes. Tell me your variations and how they came out.

Much love.


I didn't listen to anything while I was baking this because I'm not set up to do so here. Sad.